Happy Feast of St. Thomas Aquinas! It is a fitting day to send young people back to college. Our third just left for his second semester of junior year. Our second left for school last week - the last time we'll drop him off for school as he headed off for his second semester of his fifth year. He was actually going to Charleston before heading to South Bend because he is doing some research for his thesis project, which is designing a school for the traditional building arts in South Bend, similar to the one he went to visit in Charleston. He returned to campus after all his travels and got his negative Covid test, once again reassuring us that air travel is relatively safe. Thomas is his middle name. Today is a good day to ask St. TAq to guide their footsteps and to pray for all of these college students to have a great semester, to seek wisdom and understanding, and to learn to do all with charity.
Other updates: Our fourth child is still home for the semester. Her school in Los Angeles is saying students might come back halfway through second semester, but she now has a routine with her online classes, a regular babysitting gig, and a job folding and delivering laundry at the laundromat, so she is saying she wants to wait and start fresh in the fall. I love having her around, so that decision is welcome. I already miss having the older boys around after their extended break. They are pleasant company now; they actually want to sit around the table after dinner and chitchat. We have certainly eaten well with all the cooks in the kitchen, as well!
Kids 5 and 6 are still doing high school online, although next week they will go back to school one day a week. Finally. Although I am frustrated with the teachers' unions who somehow, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, still argue that schools are unsafe, when in fact, even Atlantic Monthly is publishing articles saying that schools aren't super-spreaders. And while the unions refuse to return to school out of false fear - or hope of some gain? - teen suicides are up, child abuse is up, media use is way up, and learning is down. I am frustrated by all the media, but I like having the kids home. I think I would pick some kind of hybrid learning if I had my first choice. Two or three days a week of challenging in person learning and 2 or 3 days of homework.
And number 7? - still easy peasy. She actually likes doing school work. I just ordered a bunch of new workbooks and coloring books because she is happy to do them. I have to sit close by for her to do math and writing, because she doesn't like to make mistakes. I probably should let her make more, but she falls to pieces if she spells something wrong. Other than that, she's doing great. She reads well independently and likes to read. And she LOVES having her big siblings around. She was in tears all morning when her third brother left this morning.
So today feels like the end of Christmas vacation for real, even though I have been teaching online for three weeks already. This is a five week version of the Nature writing class I taught last year. I trimmed the reading list, replaced some selections, and based on the recommendations of another professor, decided to teach just one day synchronously. Three weeks in, it is too late to add an extra day, but I wish I had two days a week for synchronous learning - it would give more time for discussion and lecture. As it is, we are always running out of time, and I feel rushed to cover material. I also wish I had scheduled a final instead of two papers. It would give students more motivation to do the reading. I do feel they are doing a good job doing some of the reading and discussion boards, but I would prefer a slower pace for our synchronous days.
What I am trying to get at is resolutions! Did I make any? Sort of... I resolved to think of something positive about the day to come each morning before I get out of bed. And get more sleep and more water, as usual - the two fitness goals I never accomplish. I did do a little more weight lifting thiI also want to keep my joints healthy this year. Tendonitis or bursitis in my knee and a calf strain have kept me from running lately - and from shedding the Christmas goodie weight ...
When I went to look at my resolutions last year, I almost laughed. Here is what I wrote:
And now for the traditional New Year's resolution post - what to look forward to in 2020? When we were talking at dinner about our one best memory of 2019 - even one best thing per month - it was hard to decide. We did a lot of traveling and hosting this year, which must be why even though we have fewer kids at home, we feel just as busy. I'm hoping 2020 has a slower pace, time to savor the good things. One of my resolutions is to make photo books - or at least print photos and put them in albums, so we can enjoy them. Part of the fun of travel and adventure is enjoying the memories, and we haven't had time to do that as much. Poor LK loves to look at old photos, but we have so few printed of her life (although she has been photographed more than any of our other children.).
So action item for 2020 - print photos.
My son did print some photos for me - as a Christmas present. A start to a very big job. Another goal was make more memories together. We did get a couple trips in mentioned below, before Dan when to UAE and Covid broke out, and a couple camp-outs, a few hikes, the getaway to Palm Desert, and the quick trip to see the grandparents in OKC.
Admittedly, however, we are already planning a few trips: one in February for Junior parents' weekend in South Bend, although in this case it is to attend "Expo Roma" for our fourth-year architecture son. And we are going to visit Pepperdine and Westmont College in late January and February with our senior daughter as she makes college decisions.
My son did print some photos for me - as a Christmas present. A start to a very big job. We did get these two trips in, before Dan when to UAE and Covid broke out. But that helped me achieve THIS resolution:
So what else? One of the themes that kept coming up during Advent this year was relinquishing control and giving up criticism (which often results during moments when things are out of control). Our priest said in a homily about joy in Advent that the opposite of joy is control. That cut close. The reflection the sister gave at the retreat I attended spoke about embracing our life as it is, not as we wish it would be - the temptation of wishing things were otherwise. And then in the homily on the Feast of the Holy Family, the priest at the church we were visiting preached about being as kind to our family as we are to strangers, in other words, loving our family for who they are so that we don't discourage each other, as the letter from Paul instructs. For book club I've been reading Colleen Carroll Campbell's The Heart of Perfection, which contains another message about control. The message seems pretty clear - control less, love more.
Everyone got a little help in relinquishing control! Still working on this part about using more positive reinforcement, but I have given more hugs - even though physical touch is not my love language either. ...
Since these researchers found that it takes four good interactions to counteract one negative event, I think I need to hearken back to the advice of those relationship experts who recommend paying out more compliments than criticisms, an action that is not native to me. I'm not much good at the "words of affirmation" love language, but I hereby resolve to engage in more positive reinforcement than negative words.
...
So my spiritual goal is to note the beauty and goodness around me and let my family know more often that I see those qualities in them.
This next goal did NOT happen - unless you count online shows. We watched more streaming shows than ever.
Another family goal - attend some plays or concerts.
Although family viewing time grew, family prayer time declined. This is a real sorrow. I still get a decade in with the 6 year old, but I miss the regularity of prayer time with the older kids. I hereby resolve to make this happen during Lent.
As for academic goals, I did write another paper for a conference. And I am looking into one for this year, and a review. I am so far behind. I need to remind myself of this little gem:
I need to learn to write faster, and that good enough is good enough - no need to be perfect, a desire for which prevents any writing from getting done.
Our biggest goal this year is discerning the path our future will take outside of the Navy. This decision is going to color the rest of the year. I'm feeling a little mournful about losing some of the perks. Retirees still get a number of privileges - shopping at the commissary, staying at the Navy Lodge, flying Space A. But we will no longer be a part of the community. There will be no one to welcome us at the next "duty station." It's time - every day my husband comes home to share some frustration at work - but we need to get a handle on a goal or purpose for this next stage.
So that is a good goal - calm, collected discussion about the future. Not always as easy as it sounds. 2. Family prayer time + plenty of hugs and positive reinforcement 3. More academic writing? or a new job? 4. Sleep, water, stretch 5. Wake up with a positive thought.
Seeing as 2021 is a month in, I'm behind already - but slow and steady!
Next post: reading round-up!
