A train with no brakes - that's the way life feels right now. Just got to keep rolling straight ahead to stop the train wreck from happening!
Having kids home for summer break and trying to teach online and tutor is a bit overwhelming. I'm scrambling to stay on top of the to do list, and I feel like it's my kids who are always being let down. For instance, today I was going to take them to a museum or do something fun with them, but I had to go to the orthopedist for the baby's leg to get a re-check and then a student emailed me with a mini-crisis and then I really needed to go to the grocery. And the kids weren't super excited about the museum any way.
Part of my anxiety about working and having the kids home is related to battling the feeling that we should be doing something educational or meaningful or purposeful. Instead, they are playing a lot of cards and swimming while I answer emails and grade papers. And this is just a part time job.
We have done a number of things - the photos below highlight a few. I also need to remember that some bored down time isn't a bad thing. The anxious part of me wants to cry, "But there is so little down time - we need to make good use of it!" But that defeats the purpose, doesn't it?
What is time well spent? What is time wasted? The answer to that is somewhat relative, but I do know that we can be doing very little of importance - sitting on the edge of the pool chatting - and it feels like time well spent. And we can do something that seems important, but is more like time wasted because I do it fretfully, rushing to the next thing, worrying about three other things that must be done.
I've come to realize I am the sort of person who likes a routine. I like having few choices. I often fail at being a hostess because I rush our guests from place to place, and I do the same thing to myself and the kids. On the other hand, the past two weeks we have done relatively little but I'm constantly afraid we are missing something.
The other day I was reading Beatrix Potter's version of the Town Mouse and the City Mouse,
The Tale of Johnny Town Mouse, to the baby. Potter is really much more sympathetic to Timmie Willie the country mouse. I agree with her. I have to catch myself yearning after a life we don't have and don't have any way of attaining right now.
Our church sponsored a weekend at a family camp a couple weeks ago. It was good to get away into the hills a little bit. The theme was "The Voice." The kids had a good time running wild with their friends, and we enjoyed getting to know some of the people from our parish a little better.
The weekend away made me realize that I often drown out God's voice with my own litany of worries and my own lamentations, instead of listing blessings and singing praises. I've always had a hard time understanding the idea that we can know God's will for the moment. It is only in hindsight that we can trace the action of God in our life and to see a purpose to the events and people who cross our path. And I have been blessed to have witnessed many of those signs of God's hand at work and to have had friendships with people who shine forth God's image.
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| Holding flags at the Rock and Roll marathon in memory of veterans KIA. |
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Volunteers gathering for a moment of silence before the race. This was a really moving event.
Of course it was long - the kids began to get bored. But the mile of flags really moved the runners.
Some cheered, some took off hats, some covered their hearts as they ran by. A few held up peace signs.
One woman broke down crying so hard she could not run. |
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| Eighth grade promotion |
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| Give a kid a camera and they capture real life. |
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High school graduation. Someone took this hat after the
mortarboard toss - sad. |
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| The mosaic at the second youngest's school. |
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| She wanted a photo with the neighbor's frog. |
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| A birthday. |
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| Nana at the shore. |
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| Peregrine Falcon eating lunch. Maybe I'll become a birder. |
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| Dead crab |
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| First Folio at the Library! |
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| To be or not to be |
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| Costume from Twelfth Night |
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| View from the library roof |
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| Summer fun |
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| Can you tell this is the zipline? |
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| Mary sharing her rosary. |
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| A hug for St. Francis |
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| Party girl |
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| Father's Day |
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| A visit to a recovering sea turtle. I love you, turtle. |
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| Tide pool exploring. |
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| Another birthday! |
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| Cliff jumping |
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| And a mishap on the monkey bars changes Summer Fun |
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| A second layer in pink |
