Lately, I've been thinking again about getting a job. In the back of my head I berate myself for not being productive and for wasting time (i.e. reading too many blogs), and think that if I were working, I would not be such a slouch. My few forays into the working world, however, have taught me that it takes an incredible amount of energy to coordinate schedules and to stay on top of responsibilities. For instance, yesterday one of the kids we carpool with mentioned that the cross country coach might not return next year. A thrill ran up my spine when my son said "You should coach, Mom." Yes! I would love to coach! (I know, not everyone's dream job.) But then reality set in: the other kids would have to stay for after-school care and the toddler would have to go to a sitter, and then there would be meets on weekends and travelling. I don't have the passion for cross country to push everyone else to the side.
Maybe if I had a real gift to share I would be more willing to inconvenience the family. I finally finished The Story of the Trapp Family Singers last night, after setting it aside for awhile, and was struck again by Maria's determination in getting the family to America, orchestrating their concert series, building their farm, and realizing the dream of the music camp. I admire their family unity and the gift of perseverence Maria must have had. I envy their gift of beautiful voices and wish our family could go to music camp and learn to sing motets and madrigals and hymns. Perhaps their passion for sharing their gifts made their sacrifices less painful.
On the other hand, I realize that I've been sidetracked from the importance of my duties as a mother. I've let things slide out of laziness. This quote jumped out at me, speaking to my restlessness: "Our age has become so mechanical that this has also affected our recreation. People have gotten used to sitting down and watching amovie, a ballgame, a television set. It may be good once in a while, but it certainly is not good all the time. Our own faculties, our imagination, our memory, the ability to do things with our mind and our hands -- they need to be exercised. If we become too passive, we get dissatisfied." (This was written 50 years ago.)
So, with renewed dedication to using my faculties, my 3 yr old and I made cookies. Then we made soup and biscuits. And although our activities left a mess in the kitchen, they brought a little peace to my heart.
Although this book was not high literature, it was enlightening. The motto on the Trapp coat of arms was "Nec aspera Terrent" - Let nothing difficult frighten thee. The family took as the motto for their farm the words from the Acts of the Apostles: "Cor unum et anima una" - They were one heart and one soul. At the end of the book, Maria writes: "As the weeks, the months, the years go by, we see more and more that only one thing is necessary to be happy and to make others happy, and that one thing is not money, nor connections, nor health -- it is love. That love about which Saint Paul breaks out in his famous canticle of praise ..."
So obvious and so easy to lose sight of when confronted with the standards of the world. The Trapps brought beauty and hope to the world during the dark years of WWII and remained simple in their lifestyle and true to their motto. And while my calling is not to share beauty through music, I need to be reminded that making soup and cookies as an act of love is a job productive of happiness.
