School is out and summer is officially underway. As per usual, the end of the school year brought lots of activity. Below is a brief review of what has been going on the last few weeks.
An ongoing conundrum in our back yard is a beehive that is located in a concrete block retaining wall. It's located back by the pool filter where I hang laundry off to the side of the house. So far the bees haven't really bothered anyone, although they are a bit intimidating when I hang laundry, so I finally called some bee removal places, got some quotes, and then called the landlord about them. Our landlord is not interested in paying to have the hive removed alive, and wanted us to just spray them with Raid. She's convinced they aren't honeybees, but carpenter bees, because they live in the concrete wall. So I sprayed one day, feeling like a murderer, but my actions were of little consequence. A couple bees dropped, but the hive was as busy as ever the next day. A week or so later, though, this swarm migrated from the hive to our back door. Swarming bees are fascinating and we had a great view outside our living room window. Although I know that a swarm is a sign of hive health - a new colony off to seek its fortunes elsewhere - I slightly hoped it was the entire community moving on. Of course, it's not, so I've decided to just let the bees in our wall continue to exist as slightly alarming neighbors. So far, no one has been stung except my husband who stepped on one and me when I lifted some drowning bees out of the pool.
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| The swarm |
The end of the school year produced a lot of tears, yelling, and anxiety among my high schoolers who were stressing about their grades - and maybe a little from me when I would turn around and see one of them on the computer looking a social media or playing video games when minutes before they were wailing about how they were going to fail every test. But they managed to pass, and now these kids who were the babies in the family are at the ages their siblings were when I thought they were so old. Time doesn't pause.
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| Awards ceremony |
I think I mentioned how our town has a spring flower festival every year in April, which includes a homefront judging contest. We didn't get any recognition this year, but if the judges had come by in late May, maybe we would have received a ribbon. The roses and hibiscus were blooming prolifically, and on the other side of the walkway the lantana and oleander also had blossoms. I finally had time to weed out the grass and weeds that had proliferated in the spring rain, and repotted some of the succulents and added bright pink geraniums and petunias to the driveway pots. The front yard looks a lot better. And we have a back yard planting project underway. When my project loving son came home from college, he got right to work - first restuffing an old ottoman, then repairing a gate, and now he has built new planters from 2x4s and repurposed some pallets into succulent planters. Photos to come as soon as they are hung and planted. He also wants to rearrange our family room and keeps showing me pictures online of couches to buy because I made an offhand comment about getting rid of some Ikea desks no one uses except to catch clutter.
After reading
The River Why, I have the urge to get out in the woods. The last time we went hiking was a month ago for our yearly Mother's Day forced march. We hiked a trail in the nearby state park that we had started but got turned around and never made it to the peak. It was one of those gloriously beautiful spring days, and no amount of complaining from my hiking companions detracted from its loveliness.
Post Mother's Day, however, a bit of Mother's Day loveliness was tarnished by a couple articles I read complaining about the Mother's Day blessing some parishes bestow at the end of Mass. Our parish is one of those - they give a similar blessing on Father's Day. The complaint is that by calling mothers/fathers up to the altar, or having them stand, for a special blessing at the end of Mass makes those who aren't parents feel left out or sad about their childlessness. Our parish also prays for anniversary blessings on married couples every so often. So presumably, those who aren't married or are divorced feel bad on those days. We served a year on the Family Life committee at our parish, and this concern was voiced when the idea of blessing marriages was revisited.
It is completely understandable to feel sad or left out when someone is given recognition for something you desire, especially something as desirable as getting married or a having a child. And liturgical purists argue that it isn't a part of the Mass. However, there are a couple different ways of thinking about this issue. On the one hand, one of the joys of life is finding reasons to celebrate each other. It's easy to celebrate with others when they have a birthday, which we all get to have, but perhaps not as easy when they win an award or get a promotion we were hoping for - or get married or have a baby when we haven't experienced that event. I am always trying to remind my children - and myself - that the right thing to do is to take pleasure in someone else's happiness or success rather than allowing jealousy to mar that other person's happiness and your own. For instance, give a handshake and say good job when you lose a match. Or when someone you love receives a gift or accomplishment or celebrates a birthday or anniversary, the right thing to do is to wish them well and celebrate with them. My husband is feted every couple of years when he changes jobs, and I have to admit I used to experience a bit of jealousy, more when I was younger and remembered the success I had in school that seemed to be useless as a parent. I wasn't getting any parties. But it was fun to go to his parties. The pot lucks are delicious and the people are happy to have a reason to take a break from ordinary time to celebrate. It isn't always easy to wish someone well when they receive what you desire, but do we stop celebrating births and marriages because not everyone will be able to take part?
On the other hand, another, less optimistic way of thinking about these blessings is to remember that they are not a celebration of someone's accomplishments, but a gift to those in need. No one is a parent because they deserve to be or earned the privilege. Instead, the blessings are given because they are desperately needed. Every mother or father standing up to received that blessing has felt crushed and had their hearts broken while parenting. Every married couple receiving a blessing for their marriage has had some dark moments. Soldiers are given blessings when they go into battle because they might die. Parents and spouses need weapons against darkness because they are in danger of brokenness and despair without the grace of God's love to help them persevere. I remember my husband's grandmother saying that a mother's back is broken when her kids are little and her heart is broken when her children are big. Not exactly encouraging words, but a reality check, and a saying that has come back to me whenever I think for a moment that parenting should get easier as the kids get older. And our faith also reminds us to embrace suffering, whatever form of it we experience, as an opportunity to grow closer to Christ. So perhaps those of us who have children can remember to pray for those who wish they could be parents whenever our own children are trying our souls, and those of us without children can pray for people with children to persevere in the attempt to shepherd those children to adulthood alive, and alive in the faith.
One of my weaknesses is a lack of emotional softness - perhaps some might say I am callous in these words. My kids accuse me of a lack of sympathy. I prefer to consider myself as unsentimental. So perhaps these thoughts are thoughtless and unempathetic. So on to more quotidian thoughts:
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| The bird watcher trying out her new binoculars to spy a pileated woodpecker |
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| Manzanita in bloom |
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| Lunch at the peak. A brave little squirrel gathered the nuts and pretzels we dropped as we sat there. |
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| A birthday hug from some kids |
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| Prom corsages back in business |
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| Prom was Memorial Day weekend. I am blessed that my daughter does her own hair, borrowed a dress, wore my shoes, and made her own corsage and date's boutonniere. And we hosted the prom dinner for 10 on our back porch. She did go with a friend to get her nails done, a small splurge compared to some of the glitz and glam we saw around us during the photo session. I do have some photos without my finger in them, but I liked this natural smile. |
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| Memorial Day ceremony at the memorial park. |
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| Art day - do you like my portrait, complete with wrinkles? I should have taken a close up of it. |
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| The powder puff tradition continues, even though it may come under political pressure. |
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| Remembering the fallen at the Rock and Roll marathon again. |
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| Summer feet |
