The Kindness of Strangers

Remember the ticket I moaned about a little bit ago?

Well, I'm slowly resolving the issue.

I threw a little party in my mind yesterday when a letter arrived saying that my petition to dismiss the assessment leveled against me for missing my court date was granted.  Champagne all around!  I feel like I'm $300 richer, even though it just means I don't have to pay that $300.  I have a court date in October to explain my situation to the judge.  I think he could rule either way on whether I'm guilty of running the red light, but at this point, I'd be happy if he'd remove the late fees and assign me traffic school so that the ticket doesn't go on my record.

Oh, to have a clean record!  I felt half a criminal just to be called guilty of failing to appear in court.

I didn't know until I went to court the first time that my license had also been suspended because I didn't come to court.  Good thing I didn't do any other lawbreaking during the interim!

So my mind has been eased somewhat because this little issue is being cleared up and swept away, just like so many other little stumbling blocks in life.

What really improved my outlook, though, has been the helpful attitude of the courthouse workers.  When I first found out about the ticket and called the court collections office, the agent was patient and listened to my long sob story and took her time clarifying the steps I needed to take.  I showed up at the courthouse with my baby to get the process started, and the security guards were kind about moving me to a shorter line to go through the metal detectors.  I didn't have to wait in line at the collections window. The agent there listened to my story again and gave me paperwork and an appointment to go to a hearing to request a hearing. (not sure what this is called - the arraignment?) The judge at this hearing was a most patient soul.  I was a part of a group of about 20 other scofflaws, all accused of traffic infractions, several who also had excuses for missing court.  80% of them had to ask for deferments or payment plans in order to pay their tickets.  The judge's easygoing demeanor didn't change, even when one jittery kid got up and hopped his way through his assessment, even when multiple people asked over and over what their options were, although the judge had explained them at least 17 times, even when one unbathed woman with a grocery cart full of notebooks painstakingly detailing a story about how the police were out to get her wanted to tell her story then and there, but the judge very politely interrupted her and reminded her that her opportunity to argue her case would be at her future court date.  The bailiff kept up a joshing banter with a lawyer.  The stenographers typed away smilingly.  Everyone seemed in such a good mood even though I, and all the other accused, were anxiously agitated.

So compliments to the county courthouse employees!  On a daily basis they encounter people at their lowest moments.  They deal with the innocently accused and the guilty, the repentant and the unrepentant.  They come face to face daily with people who don't want to be there and who consider them enemies.  But they smile! They come back to work! They are polite! Three times I had to go up to the collections office for paperwork or to file the paperwork.  Each time I was greeted kindly.  The third time they treated me like an old friend.  My own story was not too dramatic compared to some of the other situations I had the occasion to overhear.  But the workers seemed to know they needed to have a gentle demeanor in the face of all this sadness.

It could be that I just happened to show up on the days that all the nice people were working. I'm sure curmudgeons work at the courthouse, too.  The building has hardly any windows; I would be gloomy after spending hours there listening to people complain and offer excuses.  What grace to be able to work there with a smiling face and to respond to all the distress with kindness, instead of impatience.  Just by listening to my story and offering some advice, these strangers elevated my spirits.  Blessings on them.

Outlaw

Just when everything seems to be falling into place, and life is resuming a relatively normal pace, something jarring occurs.  Today it came in the form of a call from the person who lives at an address we lived at 10 years ago.  This resident called to inform me he's been getting my mail from the DMVs of both Illinois and California. Somehow our California address never made it into the IL system.  So I am delinquent on my license plate renewal, and it turns out I am also the recipient of a now almost $900 traffic ticket for running a red light in a photo-enforced zone almost 6 months ago. Now it has several late fees assessed to it, including one for failing to show up in court.  I feel like a criminal!  I have to go to court tomorrow to get a court date to figure it all out.  Meanwhile I am crying inside, and I can think of nothing else. Wah.  What luck that I am getting paid almost $900 to teach an online class, although I had in mind several other ways to spend that money. ..

My hope is that I'll be assigned a merciful judge who will dismiss the case. I admit that I did actually get caught by the red light camera, but my excuse is that I was in bumper to bumper traffic and to stop would have caused an accident.  I was behind a large delivery truck and couldn't actually see the lights. The judge could say that I shouldn't have moved until I saw the light, but I am a human being and when the car in front of me moved, so did I.

So I may have to pay, at least the ticket if not the late fees also.  I keep telling myself it is only money.  We are still going to be able to put food on the table.  What happens when this fine is given to someone who isn't getting paid? Who can't put food on the table if $900 goes to the courts?  This punishment seems completely out of proportion with the crime.  Had I been seen by a police officer, he might have frowned at me or given me a warning, but most likely he wouldn't have been able to move in the traffic, Cameras, on the other hand, are impartial.  They don't care if you are just trying not to be hit from behind.

Boo hiss to automated systems.

As the courts and traffic enforcement and DMV renewals and banking and classes and practically everything move to automated systems, what will become of our humanity? Will the judge be the type who believes the camera doesn't lie? Or that the camera doesn't tell the whole story?

So do I have anything sunny to post?  I had my first class on Monday evening and all went well.  The students were interested.  Their first written work, a response to one of three prompts (the short version: write your own obituary, describe your favorite character, or how are you like/unlike other members of the Millennial generation), indicates that I will need to spend time on the basics, but a couple of the students commented that they weren't as worried about this class when they left the room as they were when they entered.

If this writing class were online, as many are, it would be harder to address the concerns and needs of the students.  I can set up discussion board after discussion board on the online learning platform, but those computer responses only mimic the learning that comes from sitting face to face in dialogue.

Well, it's all been said before with a sigh.  The way we do things continues to change rapidly.  Hopefully, people will still ponder the whys.  They will also continue to act irrationally, committing both incomprehensible acts of evil and indifference and unimaginable acts of generosity and goodness.

Last weekend, inspired by their friend's stint at St. Thomas Aquinas College's high school summer program, our boys invited a few friends over for "Socrates and S'mores."  Ok, maybe I prodded them a little bit... "You guys can do that at home!  Here's a selection to read!"  They took over the initiative and invited the some kids, cooked some ribs, found the marshmallows, and sat out back around the fire pit for three or four hours talking about truth and goodness.  These are good kids, even if they do stupid things every once in a while.

All of my kids went back to school on Thursday last week.  They seem to like their teachers.  And I get to spend my days with my pinchable friend.  The camera doesn't lie about her lovableness. 

Slowing down

Happy Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe! If we weren't going to a party tonight, I'd make enchiladas. Before we moved, we gathered with friends who every year on the Sunday closest to this feast day organized a prayer group in front of the nearby Planned Parenthood and then had a fiesta at their house afterwards.  The party was a good carrot for the kids (and for myself) who found it uncomfortable to stand outside and pray for 15 minutes. 

This feast day comes at a good time. I need a reminder to celebrate. I've been in a foul weather mood the last couple of days because I earned myself a speeding ticket one morning while taking the kids to school. The irony is that I wasn't running late. And I didn't even realize I was speeding because I was, I'm ashamed to admit, talking on the phone.

For a long time I resisted  getting a cell phone because 1. I was home most of the time, and 2. I have enough distractions in the car with six kids that I felt I might be a liability on the road if I were trying to carrying on a conversation with someone else. Plus I figured that were I to be in an accident, somebody on the road would have a cell phone and call 911 for us. But when we were getting ready to move here, and we were going to have to drive in separate cars, we bought a phone for me. And since I now spend a good portion of the day in the car, I use it a lot more than I intended.

My fear came true: I was driving distracted.  I wouldn't be surprised if the officer gave me a ticket instead of a warning because I was on the phone. And I don't really blame him.

Add to the frustration that I had just said to my husband when we bought new shocks for the car (after buying a new windshield and 8 new tires, sigh) that at least we got some value for the money, unlike when you get a speeding ticket. My kind husband has not rubbed this in to me.

When I was complaining to my mom, she used it as a chance to teach a spiritual lesson: "Think of this as a message from God telling you to slow down."  So I'm working on that.  I repent of speeding, one of those venial sins that I've committed so often it has escaped my conscience.  I'm sorry that I was irritable to everyone.  And I'm trying to think of all the good that the City will get from my fine . . .