Walkabout

Last weekend was another three day weekend because of a teacher work day. The day off allowed our family a little time to do some exploring on Sunday.  The kids are never excited about going hiking, but we had a day with nothing on the schedule, so we pushed them out the door to go check out one of the local trails.

The trail we chose was another suburban park following the Penasquitos Creek through a small valley or canyon.  To get there, you drive slowly between traffic signals down a 4 lane street lined with strip malls and fast food joints, turn into a recreation area not far from the interstate, and then find a tree-lined path along a creek that travels three miles to a waterfall and then onward.  It's surprising how peaceful and natural the area seems in the middle of a very urban area. But like our hikes in Mission Trails and Torrey Pines parks, this trail wasn't quiet and unpopulated.  Lots of people have the same idea for a mild, sunny Sunday afternoon.  Hikers, mountain bikers, trail runners and horse back riders all share the same rocky path.

But it was very pretty - sycamore trees, live oaks, water in the creek bed rushing over the rocks, and cacti. And, as usual, as soon as we were out of the car, the kids' sense of adventure and the invigorating fresh air kicked in, and they were off exploring. The pre-teens ran on and off the path and in and out of the creek. The teens strolled behind us talking.  The toddler slept fitfully in the backpack.

This is the memory of the weekend I want to file away. Not the meltdown by one of the high schoolers about a bad grade on a final. Not the anxiety about the middle schooler going to the mall with friends and then seeing a movie full of bad language.  Not the moment when I nearly throttled the 11 year old because he was sneaking off with my phone AGAIN to play a video game instead of doing the chores he was assigned.  Not the exasperation of finding the toddler covered in ground cloves that she emptied out of the spice drawer. (At least she smelled good.)

I have mixed emotions when I see the photos friends have posted of the snow storm on the East Coast. We had been pencilled in to go to Washington, D. C. this tour, instead of staying in California. My husband reminds me that I think it is cold here; he finds me bundled in sweatshirts when he gets home. I would be freezing in temperatures below forty. But my sense of nostalgia has kicked in, and I miss those days when you had nothing to do except make hot chocolate and read books because you couldn't go anywhere.  But just as fondly do I treasure these days of coppery sunshine and coastal breezes where we stroll along with nowhere to get to quickly.

To read, to see, and not to see

A  couple brief reviews:

DO NOT, in whatever circumstances you find yourself, DO NOT WATCH NORTHANGER ABBEY circa 1987.  Unless you want a good laugh. This is the WORST Austen adaptation I have ever in my life encountered. How this possibly came to the screen - let alone was reproduced in video and DVD - is a bafflement to me. The actors were unattractively coiffed and hilariously melodramatic, the music befuddling (sexy saxophone? scary heavy breathing? new agey moaning?), and the script hatched and cobbled. What a farce! My husband slept, while I laughed in amazement, and my kids were, like, "What?" "Why is he saying that?" "What's happening now?" Who knew a Jane Austen movie might cause nightmares?

I should have been alerted to the travesty by the eyeshadow Catherine is wearing on the cover.

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On the other hand, I finally saw Austenland, a movie I thought was going to be silly and disappointing, but I found it silly and hilarious in an entertaining way. The concept is that a young woman, down on her luck in love, decides to treat herself to a vacation at Austenland, a resort in the form of a Regency manor, offering an immersion experience replete with actors, costumes, and entertainments from the early 1800s, where Janeites can pretend to live in one of her novels for a week. A romance is guaranteed! The movie is charming and lighthearted, and while it pokes some gentle goodnatured fun at Jane Austen's obsessive fans, it does so in a way that acknowledges why people love Austen so much. I would MUCH rather go to Austenland than Disney!

Jane lies in Winchester—blessed be her shade! Praise the Lord for making her, and her for all she made! And while the stones of Winchester, or Milsom Street, remain, Glory, love, and honour unto England’s Jane!

from Rudyard Kipling, courtesy: http://www.jasna.org/membership/janeites.html

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And if you are tired of Jane Austen, DO read Willa Cather over and over again. I love Willa Cather. If I do ever have a daughter again, I am determined to name her Willa Jane. If I don't, maybe I will get a female dog and name her this just to say this name daily.  I am currently reading Song of the Lark again after many, many years.  It is beautiful and heartbreaking. I am reading a library copy, but I am tempted to buy my own.

This novel doesn't replace My Antonia, O Pioneers, or Death Comes for the Archbishop, as my favorite Cather novels, but reading Cather is an "immersive experience" in itself. I can understand why she doesn't have the broad appeal of Austen. Her landscapes seem to be the main characters at times.  Her heroine is hard and could be considered selfish or at least self-absorbed.  The plot plods along with little action.  Thea Kronberg is not particularly likeable, but Cather creates such memorable characters and invokes such admiration for the strength and perseverance that built the west and found beauty in hard places.  Perhaps it is her understanding of human desires that transcend sexuality, and of the capacity of the human soul for both nobility and disgrace, that makes her both brilliant and an outsider.  Cather's world is full of color and light contrasting with dark crevices, like the canyons and sand hills that nurture Thea's talent.  I haven't quite finished the book; it doesn't read quickly, but each time I dip into it, it takes me a few minutes to return, sometimes reluctantly, to the present after closing the cover.

Things to think about

I've come across some interesting links lately that have stirred cogitation.  I'd like to come back to some of these topics again, but needless to say, rarely do I actually come back to links I've copied and pasted. Rather than keep all of these interesting reads to myself, here they are, briefly annotated:

• This is an article my college son had to read for his theology class. It summarizes a study about adolescents and faith.  The study categorizes the type of belief that teens of various doctrinal backgrounds seem to profess under the title "Moralistic therapeutic deism."  In other words, most teenagers believe in a creator God that helps them feel good about themselves and inspires them to do good deeds. I don't know that this kind of faith is limited to adolescents.  People want to be happy and content, they want life to be fair, and people to be nice to each other.  It's easy to "sell" a faith that is all about good feelings. The authors don't speak about what they consider a "mature" faith, but certainly at some point, the parts of life that are ugly around the edges have to be accounted for - and responded to with mercy.  I know that I have much maturing to do in my own faith life, but motherhood, marriage and aging have helped me see how it is possible to love unconditionally, and to forgive unaccountably, and to embrace smallness and humility.  But still these could be called types of actions and aren't inextricably tied to faith, although they may be inspired by it, and strengthened by the graces of sacraments and Words. I have always found action easier than contemplation.  Where my faith is weak is in that very thing that distinguishes faith from morality: loving and worshiping God. I know God's presence in the world and the hope of the world to come are real things, but rarely do I stop to think or listen.  In many ways, it is easier to love the sinner, who wears skin.  My soul moves sluggishly toward God, unless inspired by some reflection of His beauty. I still struggle to comprehend grace in action.  So I remind myself to be thankful for those trials that reduce, that humble, that detach. 

• I meant to come back to this one from Humanum - a commencement speech to an all girls' school by Elizabeth Kantor about love being the most important vocation. I thought about emailing it to my older kids, boys and girl. 

• Another article from the New York Times captures what I had been wrestling with when debating whether to renew some print magazine subscriptions. This one claims that not only are ebooks and online articles changing the way we read, but they also are changing the way kids learn to read.  Long ago I read something about how "print rich" homes produce better readers. We have plenty of books in our house, but in between frequent changes of address, a tight budget, and plenty to read elsewhere, we get few magazines. Now another study shows that even if parents read a lot, if they aren't leaving material around for their kids to read, the kids are going to gravitate toward social media and games. My own experience emphatically confirms this: If my parents didn't leave copies of the Couple to Couple League newsletter around, I never would have understood Natural Family Planning. Cricket inspired my siblings' and my imaginations. If my grandfather didn't keep stacks of Crisis, the National Review, First Things, and Heritage Foundation newsletters around (along with National Geographic, Smithsonian magazine, and the ever entertaining Reader's Digest),  my understanding of faith, culture, and politics (and trivia) would have been much hazier.  I worry that I may have deprived my own children by rarely subscribing to print journalism. We have intermittently received the Wall Street Journal, the National Catholic Register, Magnificat, National Geographic, Cricket and long ago got First Things, but I was more open to spending money on subscriptions when we were homeschooling and internet usage was limited by a dial up connection. And I would frequently get frustrated with myself for spending time reading magazines instead of getting things done around the house - or homeschooling. But now I am frustrated with myself for spending so much time online!

So in response, I ordered Image magazine (to support my dear sister), and I am waiting for a sale on WSJ to renew.  I like the trivia the kids pick up about the world from National Geographic, and I think I might get one other subscription to a periodical that nourishes our faith life - not sure which one - Magnificat, First Things, or something else.

• And I enjoyed the article that Preventing Grace linked to about the differences in American and British children's fiction. (The American being moralistic and the British being fantastical.) That article is not the point of her post, which is about how easy it is to imagine God as an engineer and to read the Bible as an instructional manual on achieving salvation, as opposed to seeing God as an artist who creates out of love -- a post that neatly circles back to my ruminations at the beginning of this post. How we long for an orderly checklist of what to do! But how blessed are the moments of pure pleasure of being with another, a someone or a Someone. 

• And so my last link is to this: an article from Notre Dame magazine (one of our few print journals which actually usually has a number of thoughtful articles) about the poet Robert Lax, a friend of Thomas Merton, and a poet of little renown, but great faith.  The article itself is brief, but has inspired me to look up more Robert Lax. And the picture that accompanies it looks like the portrait of a true contemplative. 

For [Lax}, artistic expression is spiritual expression, and the hands that grope for God are stained with ink and oil. In these days when it’s difficult to pass on values in a traditional way, we must encode them in literature and art.

Photos of a New Year

Much needed rain fell from the skies in torrents last week. Drivers were discombobulated; the rock hard earth was flooded. This week sunshine has returned, the earth has absorbed the moisture, the kids are back in school, and I've spent a couple days cleaning house, getting it back into ordinary time condition.

It was a good vacation punctuated by many happy moments.  Since I don't have much time to share, I'll just post a few happy photos highlighting the beginning of the year.

Reenacting Juan Cabrillo's discovery of Southern California

With the grandparents

The boys

Squinting at the camera trying to spy sea life.

Running!

Mission San Diego

St Junipero Serra is feeling flush after the holidays.

A cute baby Jesus and St. Anthony

Camellias in bloom. Love this pink.

Learning chant.

The girls

Waiting for sunset

Trying to capture a triple jump

Leap of faith

Good night light.

2015 Reading Wrap-Up

My reading time has been very intermittent the last few weeks.  In between Christmas preparations, travel, and guests, I haven't picked up a book in days.  I didn't get much reading done on our car trip because of the bad weather and brief hours of daylight. But I did finish a couple of books that rounded out my total count for 2015 to 50 books, which includes read alouds and YA preview-reads. Not bad for a busy, busy year.

I do regret a bit how much social media cuts into my reading time - time waiting in line or in the evening is often spent scrolling through social media posts instead of reading, although occasionally a friend will share an old photo that inspires a smile and a happy memory that is worth the time.   Is limiting media another resolution waiting to happen? Glad Lent is early this year. I always like the feeling of a fresh start that the new year and the discipline of Lent bring.

Back back to books: Several of the last few books I finished this month were from the Little Free Library down by the beach, which often features advanced review copies gratis a generous benefactor/reviewer in the neighborhood.  Beyond the Beautiful Forevers was a moving story of life in a Mumbai slum.  It told the story of several families, but because it moved from family to family, it didn't quite affect me the way a more singly focused book might have.  It seemed almost more of a documentary.

On the other hand, In Love and War, the autobiography of Admiral James and Mrs. Sybil Stockdale was affecting. The couple lived on Coronado most of their marriage, and during the most trying time, when James was a prison of war for seven years in Vietnam. Seven years. I can't even imagine. Communication between them was minimal at the time.  Most of the seven years Jim was in solitary confinement, but by some grace of God, he and the other inmates invented codes relayed by scratching on the wall or sweeping a broom a certain way. I wish he explained better how they communicated the code. Sybil became a spokeswoman for POW wives, and contacted the government and the press to publicize the mistreatment the prisoners were receiving. Much of the history of the Vietnam war is still unclear to me, but this book helped bring part of it to life, especially the negative effect that visiting celebrities and do-gooders who sympathized with the Communists incurred for the prisoners. The Stockdale's story is an incredible testimony to marital fidelity, perseverance, ingenuity, duty, and fortitude. The writing is matter-of-fact and linear, but the facts and details are what make the story interesting.

Meanwhile Americanah is a story that relies heavily on non-linear story-telling. It's basically a love story about an ambitious South African woman who emigrates to America and then returns home a decade later and looks up her old boyfriend.  It was an assigned book for my son's senior AP Literature class. As a book for adults, it was fine but not incredible, and it didn't strike me as the best treatment of the subject.  It reminded me of other books about the African experience, without being as good - Why didn't the teacher assign Cry the Beloved Country?  Cutting for Stone, Abraham Verghese's story about a young man from Africa becoming a doctor seemed better, too.

I skimmed through When Sorry Isn't Enough, one of the Gary Chapman series, about languages of apology.  This was a free copy from the family retreat we went to in Big Bear.  It was interesting, and perhaps useful for some people, but I personally, didn't see much of myself in it.  I like people to apologize and to know why they are apologizing, but the type of apology needs to fit the crime, rather than the personality.

The last book of the year I read was a new young adult book. The Doldrums, that I picked up as a review copy from the LFL near the beach.  It was a little disappointing.  A young boy whose grandparents are famous explorers dreams of escaping his dreary existence. His mother and father keep him locked up in their museum of a house. He and two misfit friends plan an adventure that never quite happens, although they get into something of a minor adventure at the local museum.  I kept waiting for more. The characters were interesting, but the action was dull. It was one of those books that seems like it is going to be a fantasy or fairy tale type story, but it remains about eccentric reality.  Promising, but doesn't deliver.

As I glance through the list of what I read this year, I realize my reading list heavy with those kinds of books. It's hard to pick a favorite this year.

Out of 50 books

• 15 were children's or young adult books
• 12 were nonfiction
• 7 were spiritually nourishing, or supposed to be
• and only 2 were classics - if you count Mere Christianity. Three if you count Sayers' Whose Body. Four if you count Country of Pointed Firs by Sarah Orne Jewett. And do you include Rumer Godden's An Episode of Sparrows?  Should I just call this category "published pre-1960's"? Throw Up a Road Slowly and Gunnar's Daughter into that count - brings the total to 7.  Or "Lesser known classics"?  "Books by authors who have a dedicated cult of niche readers"?

My favorites this year?  I enjoyed discovering John L'Heureux and David Lodge, although I didn't love all their books.  I liked all of the pre-1960's books. I was fascinated by the Stockdale's story.  I'm glad I read Pope Francis' The Joy of the Gospel. But I don't have one overwhelming favorite. you've-got-to-read-this, this year. A year of good books, but not great ones.

Most overrated? The Magical Art of Tidying Up. A good suggestion of how to minimize belongings, but it's an already short book that could have been condensed into an essay.  I'm not sure it merited all the recommendations it received.  That said, I do have boxes in my basement that haven't been unpacked in 3 moves - childhood mementoes. Textbooks. Pictures that don't fit on the wall here or are outdated.  Other miscellaneous detritus of a life.

And the dubious title of least favorite belongs to Last Days of California.  I also didn't really care for A Hunger in the Heart, Once a Runner, and Something Out There, either.  It was a year with more disappointing reads than favorite ones.

What's next to read? I'll be planning for a class again, so back to reading essays.  I'd like to look at The Gutenberg Elegies. I might also check out the library's copy of  David Foster Wallace's collected essays, not because I like him, but because everyone else does, and it includes his syllabus for a writing class. I am also waiting for the first Elena Ferrante novel The Brilliant Friend to be available, based on my sister's recommendation.  And I need to get my kids reading some Shakespeare.  Since I am doing a Catholic book club with some friends, I'll probably read some more non-fiction this year.  I have a wishlist of about 60 books on Amazon.  We'll see what we end up choosing. I'll keep you posted!

Happy New Year and Happy Epiphany Everyone!

2016 arrived with sunshine and swimming in Southern California.  My parents have been here to visit  for the first time since we changed location, and we have been happy to show them the sites and celebrate the new year and Epiphany with them. Pictures to come.

New Year's Eve itself was a bit understated: we binged watched TV: first the Notre Dame game, with the ND alumni club at a tavern, because we don't have cable tv. Then we watched Death Comes to Pemberly with the younger kids and then a few episodes of The Blacklist with the older teens, which we got hooked on by my in-laws.  I am now appalled at how much time we have spent watching the show and am ready to wait until the last episode comes out so I can find out the ending without having to watch 30 some hours of television.  Meanwhile the boys are constantly asking for more. Glad Death Comes to Pemberly, which my daughter who reads Jane Austen loved, is only 3 episodes long!

We also ate our traditional dinner of appetizers - mostly meats and cheeses, with artichoke dip, hummus, eggrolls and tamales to round out the menu - an international feast, thanks to the local grocery's freezer section.  At midnight the two oldest jumped in the chilly pool. I had said I would do it, but backed out at the last minute.  The next day we kept my husband's family's tradition of a white dinner - pork roast, sour kraut, mashed potatoes and knepp.  We also took a bike ride/jog around the island and had a media free evening with games of euchre and Rummikub.

Although we usually wait for the twelfth day of Christmas, today we went with the church calendar and celebrated Epiphany. The Three Kings came in the dark to deliver Saturday pants for everyone, along with some deeply discounted Christmas candy, bike lights, and $20, since they didn't have time or desire to shop for that third gift.  We had a festive dinner of carbonara and grilled chicken, and since the day got away from us before we could make a Rosca des Reyes or Galette des Rois, we went out for ice cream cones at the local ice creamery.  It at least made the kids feel royal to get cones and walk down the street licking them.

The homily of today's Mass was useful for anyone contemplating New Year's resolutions, although I know resolutions are out of style. Two of mine are the usual: 1. Read more to the kids (this has been on the list every year. We go in peaks and valleys on read alouds. I guess 2 or 3 a year are better than nothing)
and 2. Get back into the rosary habit, which has suffered since our move. My spiritual resolution is usually to do morning meditations, but I have yet to develop that habit, so rekindling something we used to do regularly is likely to be more successful.  Also on my Spiritual resolution list is to read/do something notable for the Year of Mercy.  Our church has been designated a pilgrimage site, and we visited the San Diego mission, so now we have visited two pilgrimage sites.

The priest today read a list of 10 things to keep your family's spiritual life healthy, which he must have found on the internet, but it was well received, although sometimes hard to hear because of his Irish brogue. I think I remembered all 10, but I may have missed one or two and I may have combined some.  The list was:

1. Recognize we are all made in the image of God
2. Say I love you and offer praise often (may have been 2 things)
3. Say I'm sorry often
4. Pray together
5. Eat dinner together
6. Hug often - or other physical touch
7. Practice intentional attention - my family says I need to work on this
8. Tell family stories - I think I need to work on this
9. Be good listeners (may be part of #7)
10. Do family mission work - another practice we need to resume since leaving behind our work at Many Meals. I haven't found the time or place yet - but that is going up on my list for my community resolution.

Other habits to cultivate:
1. Academic/Intellectual: Get piano tuned and lessons for youngers
2. Spiritual: Daily gospel reading - or other spiritual reading. Thinking of subscribing to Magnificat.
3. Family: Do a better job of managing media time for everyone.  We all are checking our media too much and the result is time lost for reading, exercising, visiting, other hobbies, etc.  I need to re-establish clear rules for media usage, which is hard for my older teens because everyone is messaging constantly.  We used to use the phone a lot as teenagers, but phone conversations ended; text conversations go on and on.
4. Finally, the traditional health and wellness resolution: Cut sugar and drink more water. New this year: Stretch more! I just discovered that the base has yoga classes, and my friend and I went twice, but then the instructor moved, so now we have to wait for a new one. I know yoga isn't a Catholic practice and some people are opposed to it, but it really, really, really helps me feel better. Several studies have found it is therapeutic for soldiers with post-traumatic stress syndrome, so now the bases try to offer yoga classes when they can.  These classes are definitely "secular" yoga, and but the deep breathing and stretching are restorative.

Next up: sum up the last few books I read in 2015 and figure out what reading priorities are in store for 2016. Getting a slow start, but excited about it.