On the other hand, I have been reading lots. And praying more - which is easier because our Church is offering such wonderful resources: 24 hours of adoration and confession, a healing Mass, Soup and Stations on Fridays, a Lenten study for moms with free babysitting, a Taize service, etc. They have all been beautiful, especially the 24 hours of adoration. It is so peaceful to sit in church in the darkness of midnight. I don't know that I hear God's voice speaking, but my heart is open and full.
And we have also had the opportunity to do some extra acts of service. Today the teens served breakfast at the homeless shelter and then we all worked at a food packaging event where we filled bags of meals composed of soy protein, spices and dehydrated vegetables, and rice. 50,000 meals were packed. It was pretty amazing and productive, as well as a fun social activity. I love opportunities like this to get together with people we don't know well but want to know better.
I also love the quiet, introspective time of Lent. The freedom to say no to extra social events. The greater dedication to acts of corporal and spiritual mercy, the greater focus on what is essential. Attention seems heightened. Affection comes easier. Causes for adoration are plentiful.I just read a good article about why Catholics love Lent by Fr. Raymond de Souza in the National Catholic Register. It mentions the extra devotionals offered by parishes and beloved by parishioners - as well as non-Catholics who love Stations or Taize, or other devotions, and come to be fed, but it also notes how penance and discipline suit us:
"We proclaim ourselves an Easter people, but we are not quite ready for a life fulfilled by singing the praises of God, as we will in heaven. Lent, though, seems to correspond to where we find ourselves, perhaps sitting for a while in the ashes of disappointment or failure, or perhaps in need of timely encouragement to take up anew the discipline of the Christian life.Easter may indeed give us a foretaste of heaven, but Lent provides support while we still eat the bread of affliction.Why is Lent our favorite season? Perhaps because it best gives to us what we need on the journey, having not yet arrived at the feast."
The anticipation of the future and the pleasures mixed with the pains of long journeys bear testament to the predilection for the journey.
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Another good article: "Stuff Nobody Wants" by John Horvat. We have a lot of that around here. But this article takes a different look at that stuff. He sees in it a connection to the past and to familial roots. The loss of respect or understanding of the provenance of things can be traced back to the breakdown of the nuclear family and to the loss of the familial stories about our heritage and our family identity."Just as most individuals see themselves as unlinked to others, so also most families today see themselves as a social unit without connection to others—even their own.
"Thus, the modern nuclear family does not see itself as a continuation of a family tradition. Its members do not see the need to maintain an old home or property that should be kept “in the family.”
To them, the family is just the sum of living members composed of a father, mother, and children. Once one reaches adulthood, the individual becomes an autonomous being with few binding obligations and no need for the old stuff of their parents.
This is so contrary to the traditional notion of the family. Throughout history, the family has always been understood to mean the unbroken unity of the whole lineage of ancestors and descendants."
I have thought often about this, mostly in relation to my own longing to be rooted to a place and to be closer to family. I have thought that my relics handed down from my grandparents and relatives are accessories to our way of being rooted in a transient lifestyle. I want to return to our ancestral home, but as we leave little bits of our selves across the country, and learn to love places that we originally only tolerated, our roots have spread - perhaps more shallow than deep, but someday we will pause and be still.
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Another penance of Lent: Doing taxes and college financial aid paperwork, which are oh so painful, but finished! I spent hours filling out forms - online - and calculating and recalculating to make sure I did everything correctly. Glad to have that behind me for now. It did raise some awareness of the complexities of being self-employed, even though technically I'm not.
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Is it a penance to get a letter from the school about misbehavior? Yes, most definitely it is a lesson in humility, but also in patience in waiting for a response after spring break, especially since I question that the punishment fits the crime.
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Is it penance to try to potty train? Yes. I have cleaned up many accidents this week, but the toddler is at last interested in using the potty. I owe her new underpants. As much as I looked forward to potty training, it makes me realize that this unexpected baby is no longer a baby, and it makes me sad. Her third birthday is in just a few weeks. She has been - and will continue to be, I'm sure, - such a source of light and life. She is generous with hugs and amusing facial expressions. She is cuddly and independent. I want her to stay small as much as I anticipate her growing up. I have loved having a baby in the house at the same time we are sending college students out of the house, even though that was not my initial thought.
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During the past few weeks of Lent, I have also done a lot of reading. The book selection at the library has been good, and a couple of people loaned me books. I want to write about them, but it's too late now, so it will have to wait for another time.
Till then, may peace remain!
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| Packing up meals |
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| A job for everyone |
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| Art enthusiast |
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| Artsy photos at the art museum |
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| Making art |
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| Admiring the blooms at the Japanese Friendship garden. |
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| A dress I made for a niece 12 years ago. |
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| Broken stuff I can't seem to fix or throw away. |
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