Lent begins

 Yesterday was Ash Wednesday, so I've been thinking about ways to enter the spiritual dessert in order to draw closer to Christ, to become more like him, and to prepare to celebrate the resurrection. However, today was a bit of a slow start.  Our daughter has stayed home for school two days with a low but persistent fever, headache, and lethargy. 

I've felt a bit lethargic myself, but not because of the flu. I was lying awake contemplating last night and realized I've been falling prey to acedia, aka sloth, particularly spiritual sloth.  The irony is that I used to pride myself for being busy and productive, although as I look back over the years, I have definitely fallen into slothful ways many times in the past.  In fact, I wonder if for most of my life, I have been busy and productive, but as a way to procrastinate, a way to avoid being attentive to the things that matter.  

My oldest daughter asked me for photos of herself when she was two, so I was looking back in the photo albums and was saddened by the few, poor quality photos that we have.  Of course, those were the years when we actually developed film or sent digital images to CVS to be printed because there were no phones for taking, storing, and reviewing photos. I wished I had more photos of those days.  The memories of them have faded, although the pictures bring them back.  I haven't printed photos in years, even though I treasure looking at prints.  Is this procrastination? Yes, but also a way to recall happy memories. But I also wondered if perhaps I didn't have many photos because I wasn't attentive in the moments...

So for Lent, I'm going to try to fight acedia and re-devote myself to avoiding those things that only offer distraction, especially distractions from doing what is right and good. Number one offense: social media, especially Facebook and Instagram. I'm excusing blogging because it is contemplative.  Those other platforms used to be ways to keep up with family. Now they are just a waste of time watching content that someone else made that serves to anger or to numb. 

The physical fasting is easier because we have done this now for serveral years: no sweets, drinks, meats, or good coffee. (I'm still drinking coffee, but not as much and not the good kind.)

I intend to offer up long showers, in union with my Laudato Si class, as well as being late. This is a recommendation from my husband, and it will be hard. It is related to acedia though, because I am late when I am wasting time - not because I have really important things to do, but because I either don't plan or don't pay attention.  

Same thing with staying up late. Both things inconvenience him. They are selfish. So to bed!  Praying for a fruitful and blessed Lent.