The last few weeks have been busy with home repairs, (some expected, others not) visitors (some expected, others not), and school work (some expected, other work expected, more work expected...). And football season in South Bend has arrived - this means every Saturday we are either watching a game at the stadium or on TV. I thought we might have a couple quiet weekends, but while we have had some absolutely beautiful weekends without home football games, the weekends have been busy.
Going back in time, since I haven't posted in a long time:
At the end of September we celebrated my father's birthday. It was the weekend of the harvest moon, but there were blossoms on the apple tree - when we should only see winesap applies. What a strange season!
As October began, school ramped up. I enjoyed the Ethics and Culture Conference at Notre Dame, which I meant to write up for my own notes - I made it to a few great talks, a few fine talks, and a really fun performance of the Hillbilly Thomists.
Over the long Columbus Day/Indigenous People's Day, we welcomed some some of our good friends from Texas - one of my daughter's best friends, so she was thrilled - who came to watch Notre Dame play.... Our godson and his bride also came, and we hosted another tailgate, walked all over campus, and had some fun game nights in the evenings. The game was a blowout, so a little boring, but a source of happiness.
After that weekend, we had a weekend when we caught up with some house repairs in the day, attended some wonderful dinner parties in the evenings, and enjoyed a glorious show of color. I mistakenly thought we might have a dull autumn when some trees started browning early, but I was, happily, quite wrong! The weather has been perfect for fall leaf crunching.
Last weekend, my parents and brother and his girlfriend all came up, so we could ride the Pumpkinvine Trail. I had to buy a bike for our daughter and get mine tuned up, but it felt great to be on a bike again. I miss riding everywhere like we did when we lived in Coronado. I do ride a little here, but traffic is discouraging.
The unfortunate thing is that right at the end of the ride, my mom swerved to miss a car and crashed her bike. She said she heard a crunch going down, which turned out to be her femur cracking. We carefully loaded her in the car after stabilizing her leg and then took her to the hospital where they recommended emergency surgery. Not part of the plan for the day! Fortunately, we have great orthopedists here, and her surgery on Sunday went well.
But that means she and my dad are here for at least two weeks and maybe more because she can't drive, of course, and can only move around very, very slowly. She can walk with a walker and now, a few days out, and can get in and out of bed without help.
The real struggle is that my father has Parkinson's and Lewy-Body dementia. This is what caused Patrick Stewart's recent death and was discovered to have caused the depression that killed Robin Williams. It is a strange disease, as I am learning. Sometimes he is quite clear, and sometimes he is very confused. Evenings and nighttime are especially difficult because he has a sleep disorder, also. He gets up and down all night long, and sometimes tries to get dressed in the middle of the night, thinking morning has arrived. I have been sleeping in the room with him as a safety measure. It's been exhausting. I have a newfound appreciation for people who care for their aging parents.
As my mom recovers, we have had a lot of conversations about what is next. They want to go home to their farm, and they will eventually, but it seems like hiring caregivers is needed. And at some point, we will have a conversation about how long they will stay on the farm.
I've been thinking a lot about this stage of life we are now entering - not something I realized would come quite so soon, and not something I thought would be so physically demanding. Making the decision to stay home and care for our kids was easy - I hadn't really started working, I wanted to care for and teach our kids, I had ideas about childrearing. But I don't have a philosophy of parent-care. I'm sure more discussions are to come about what the future will look like.
But for now - I've got to go throw together a costume for handing out candy! My husband thought we might have to dress as mourners because Notre Dame was behind in the game against Navy earlier today, but they ended up winning, so we're free to wear something more creative - so now I'm off to figure it out! The squirrels carved our pumpkins for us - they ate big chunks of them, so we just need to throw a candle in and enjoy the parade of trick-or-treaters!
A happy Halloween and happy All Saints Day to all!
