A Reading Frenzy

After slogging slowly through Dickens for a month, I have raced through some contemporary authors in the past couple weeks. I've been reading so much lately, that I think I've forgotten something that I read. I know I picked up and put back down the new Joyce Carol Oates book and a literary cookbook anthology called Books that Cook by Melissa Goldthwaite.  But I think I turned something else in at the library that I finished and forgot. . . Oh well - no impression, no review!

Here are the books that were memorable:
I quickly read the rather repetitive Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up  by Marie Kondo, the latest self-help craze.  I linked to it earlier.  I got through it quickly because I didn't bother to do anything she recommended, although I did add a few more clothes to the give away bag that I started when we moved in. The catch for me is that she recommends you touch everything you own to decide whether or not to keep it.  I JUST DID THAT when we moved. I'm not about to pull my books off the shelf or clothes out of the closet or mementos out of the garage again. And I made a valiant effort to give away two boxes of books before we left. I also tossed out a lot of papers, a lot of clothes, a few furniture items, etc.

But still I have mementos in boxes that I didn't deal with. I have little doodads like bobby pins and paper clips roaming the house instead of being stylishly and simply contained in one place.  I don't store things vertically but might try.  I'll apply Kondo's mantra of "Does this give me joy" in a few years when it is time to move again.  I made some notes, and I am determined to get rid of things that hide in the backs of closets, the darkness of boxes, or that never get admired or used. The nice thing is that she doesn't advocate keeping just a certain number of pants, dresses, and tops (although that might actually be helpful), but determining which things are really appreciated, even if they aren't used all that often, like one of my favorite dance dresses.

So next time we move, I am ready to tell my unappreciated items, "Goodbye. Thank you for teaching me what doesn't look good on me" or "Thank you for helping me understand what books I really like and don't like" or "Thank you for reminding me of a happy time that is over now." Since I don't have a hard time getting rid of things that are used up, broken or ruined, but I have a terrible time getting rid of potentially useful items, I think that acknowledging that a thing's usefulness to me has come to an end will be helpful.

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The other book I appreciated but more as a sort of historical artifact was Selma Lanes' Down the Rabbit Hole: Adventures and Misadventures in Children's Literature. It is a collection of previously published essays about children's lit or authors, and as a book about books, quite good. But as a book written in 1973, it was very much dated, particularly the chapter on books about black children or by black authors.  On the other hand, I found it interesting to read both her evaluations of authors/illustrators who have stood the test of time - Maurice Sendak, Julius Lester, Leo Lionni  - versus those whose books now look very dated, like Uri Shulevitz, Edward Ardizzone, and Lore Segal, whom I never even heard of.  She praised Sendak and Seuss, who is one of my least favorite authors. I find him preachy and boring to read and I don't like his illustrations either. Sorry to offend any Seuss lovers (Lanes claims he understands children's psyche) - but I don't identify.  She also is not a fan of Richard Scarry, whom I love.  But we share an appreciation for Kate Greenaway over Joan Walsh Anglund, for books that challenge children and aren't just repackaged reprints or concept books (ABC or counting books - which can have charm but often don't) or serials that are written to reap financial rewards.  She does however appreciate the Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew for their escapist fictions and example of energetic, curious, enterprising teens. The chapter on America's lack of fairy tales was  also interesting - her thesis was that because America's belief in the individual spirit, in hard work over magic, we have more tall tales and "wonder tales" like the Wizard of Oz rather than fairy tales.  She praises the ability of children's lit to provide catharsis in confirming the "benign nature of the universe" - for adults and children.

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Which is exactly what The Penderwicks in Spring, Jeane Birdsall's fourth Penderwick family tale, does.  Although disaster and heartache are hinted at (the beloved next door neighbor is in the Army off fighting in a war, romances are broken off, the death of the original Mrs. Penderwick is described), in general the story remains a heartwarming tale of a lovable bunch of sisters and one brother, who all have special gifts and are a family closely united.  Birdsall has a gift for making the Penderwicks seem like real people, but also too good to be true, without making them seem like goody-goodies.  Enough romance is hinted at innocently to satisfy a pre-teen girl's curiosity and romanticism, but not even close to enough to make a mother snatch the book away. My 13 year old and I argued about whose turn it was to read it. I can see how a reader who loves realism and despises the sentimental might scoff at this book, but I think there is enough adversity and change for the sisters to face that the book doesn't seem saccharine to me. I give it and the other Penderwick books unqualified two thumbs up.

*****

On the other hand, the last book that I want to mention has no danger of being described as sweet.  I can't decide if it was dark comedy or light tragedy. I know it is supposed to be comedic, but all the foibles of the married couples in David Lodge's Souls and Bodies are heart rending - perhaps because they altogether too familiar. I had trouble falling asleep for thinking about it.  The book has an ensemble cast of young couples who come of age in the early 50's, marry, and then are shaken about by the changes of the 60's and Vatican II. It ends in 1979 with the election of Pope John Paul II, with a (sardonic?) note of hope.

 Lodge, according to Wikipedia, has described himself as a "Catholic agnostic," and he incorporates many of his own experiences and emotions into the story by divvying them about among the couples - an English professor, a father of a child with Down's, a television show producer - and allowing authorial intrusion.  The couples' attitudes and faith change as they age and the world around them changes rapidly, very much as it has continued to do in the following 30 years.  Lodge tells their story wryly, as if he has sympathy for his characters' early convictions, but is compelled to acknowledge the insufficiency of their faith.  His description of all the ramifications of Humanae Vitae are spot on, and his characters experience both the good and the bad effects of relying on their consciences to make a decision about contraception.

It's a compelling read, and I'd love to discuss it with someone. But it is a book I would hesitate to recommend to just anyone. On the one hand, it is way too Catholic for a secular reader, unless it was someone interested in that time in history. I think my generation is unaware of how earth shattering the changes that seem mundane to us now were, (receiving communion on the hand, speaking English) so a casual reader might be confused and bored by the conflicts felt by the main characters.  For a Catholic reader fed up with the Church's stance on domestic issues or already questioning his faith, this book might be a confirmation of everything he suspected.  For a Catholic who has tried to remain faithful, the book is both a challenge and a confirmation.  Some of the characters appear downright silly in the way they embrace change. Or heartbreaking in the way their marriages suffer.  Or prescient in they way they foresee more changes to come. But it is telling that Lodge calls himself an agnostic because the book seems to express to me a deep longing for faith, for something True and Good to believe in.  Despite the politics and the theological mind benders - or faith crushers as the case may be - I can't help but set the book down shaken, but reassured by a sense that the desire for God, for the reality of Love and Forgiveness, permeates the story. Lodge seems to struggle to answer if it all boils down to physical relationships or is there something more?

I almost need another dose of the Penderwicks to recover.

Accomplished

I did it! I finished The Old Curiosity Shop!



I have owned this book for probably twenty years, started it many times, and at last, after weeks of reading a handful of pages at a time late at night, I turned the last page and sighed with relief and a bit of sadness.  Although this is not my favorite Dickens book, it still had the ability to pull me into the world of Industrial Revolution Era England - and some of the themes seemed to tie in with recent history.

http://allaboutdickens.blogspot.com/

It's easy to see why this book doesn't have the popularity or spirit of David Copperfield or Great Expectations.  The setting is dark, and the plot goes on and on.  Little Nell is a very one dimensional main character. She has no weaknesses except physical weakness.  And her grandfather lacks personality - she is trying to save him from his addiction to gambling and his debtors, but he apparently has more physical endurance than she.  Kit, her faithful swain, is perhaps the easiest character to attach to, but even he has no real roundness.  The evil dwarf Quilp is unrelentingly demonic, a memorable creep.  Dick Swiveller, the clerk, is perhaps the only character who undergoes some conversion experience; from a pawn of Quilp to a patron of the little maid enslaved by the Brasses, he seems to awaken to the need to take personal responsibility for his own livelihood and to care for others.

So if I didn't really love any of the characters, and the setting is for the most part the dark side of Victorian England, except for the little village at the end where Nell and her grandfather and the good schoolteacher finally find respite, why bother finishing the book at all?  I'm not teaching Dickens or taking a class. Part of my doggedness is just to say I did it, so I did not have to look at that book condemning me each time I unpacked it.

But after I was about two hundred pages in, I began to want to read more. I stayed up later, or sneaked chapters in during the day.  Escapism? Or delight? The cast of characters, although cartoonish, are memorable and entertaining. Nell and her grandfather have an interesting series of adventures.  And Dickens's language really is lovely. Contemporary literature has more rounded characters and more realistic settings, but I can't think of any contemporary writer who writes with the vocabulary and syntax that was de rigueur prior to, say World War 1.  And how fewer books existed then! But many of the lackluster novels have disappeared, so those that have stood the test of time may give the era a better reputation than it deserves.

The book is also replete with some witty observations of human nature, even if the characters are rather flat, remarks that remind me, even when tempted to think that our own era is the most immoral ever to exist (because, for example, California now has an assisted suicide law), that human nature has changed very little. For instance, as Mrs. Quilp is bemoaning how weak and guilty she is for not standing up to her evil spouse, Dickens observes "...conscience is an elastic and very flexible article, which will bear a deal of stretching and adapt itself to a great variety of circumstances. Some people by prudent management and leaving it off piece by piece like a flannel waistcoat in warm weather, even contrive, in time, to dispense with it altogether, but there be others who can assume the garment and throw it off at pleasure; and this being the greatest and most convenient improvement, is the one most in vogue."  (100).  Or when the Brasses and Mrs. Quilp are belittling Quilp for his deformity, unaware that he is listening to them and delighting in the thought of catching them misbehaving. He loves the thought of catching them gossiping more than he is hurt by their remarks.

This line regarding Little Nell's feelings on leaving home struck a chord: "Why is it that we can better bear to part in spirit than in body, and while we have the fortitude to act farewell have not the nerve to say it? On the eve of long voyages or an absence of many years, friends who are tenderly attached will separate with the usual look, the usual pressure of the hand, planning one final interview for the morrow, while each well knows that it is but a poor feint to save the pain of uttering that one word, and that meeting will never be."  A familiar situation to many a military couple or family. Easier to pretend that the final goodbye is yet to come.

Another pleasant to read passage describes the comforts of coming in from a cold drenching rain to a warm fire, mulled cider and hot stew.  The earlier suffering is quickly forgotten, except to serve as "enhancing the delights of the present time."

The book has several insights into what might be Dickens' religious views. Kit's mother attends a fire and brimstone church with a preacher who condemns incarnational pleasures, and she feels guilty after indulging in a feast of oysters or delighting in pretty things like a bow in her bonnet.  But Kit reproves her by saying, "Can you suppose there's any harm in looking as cheerful and being as cheerful as our poor circumstances will permit? Do I see in anything in the way I'm made, which calls upon me to be a snivelling, solemn, whispering chap, sneaking about as if I couldn't help it, and expressing myself in a most unpleasant snuffle? on the contrary, don't I see every reason why I shouldn't?... ha, ha, ha! An't that as nat'ral as walking, and as good for the health?"   He seems to be akin in feeling to Belloc, whose quote about "Wherever the Catholic sun doth shine / There's always laughter and good red wine" is another reminder to keep the Gospel of Joy exhorted by Pope Francis.

Dickens also shares with Pope Francis a preference for the poor:

 "...if ever household affections and loves are graceful things, they are graceful in the poor. The ties that bind the wealthy and the proud to home may be forged on earth, but those which link the poor man to his humble hearth are of the true metal and bear the stamp of Heaven. The man of high descent may love the halls and lands of his inheritance as a part of himself, as trophies of his birth and power; .. the poor man's attachment to the tenement he holds, which strangers have held before, and may tomorrow occupy again, has a worthier root, struck deep into a purer soil,,, that man has his love of home from God, and his rude hut becomes a solemn place... if those who rule the destinies of nations would but remember this, - if they would be think how hard it is for the very poor to have engendered in their hearts that love of home from which all domestic virtues spring, when they live in dense and squalid masses where social decency is lost, or rather never found, -...many low roofs would point more truly to than sky, than the loftiest steeple that now rears proudly up from the midst of guilt, and crime, and horrible disease.... In love of home, the love of country has its rise; and who are truer patriots or the best in time of need -- those who venerate the land, owning its wood, and stream and earth . . or those who love their country, boasting not a foot of ground in all its wide domain?" 

A lot of rhetoric to add to the argument that the poor need decent shelter, a place to call home in which to take pride and comfort.

Additionally, as Nell begins to fear death, Dickens gives some words to an old schoolmaster about the redemptive power of memory -

"There is nothing innocent or good, that dies, and is forgotten. Let us hold to that faith, or none. An infant, ...dying in its cradle, will live again in the better thoughts of those who loved it; and play its part, through them, in the redeeming actions of the world, though its body be burnt to ashes or drowned in the deepest sea."  

He goes on to describe how "angels" do their work on earth by inspiring the loved ones left behind to be good.  Not perhaps an orthodox teaching about death, but it gives comfort to Nell and seems to be a reiteration of the idea that many small kindnesses performed out of love and friendship can generate more good in the world than one or two acts of largesse.  And in fact, several minor characters in the book are vehicles of compassion, despite their unusual jobs (the wax museum owner) or their poverty (the ironworker).

And this idea is reiterated at the end of the book:

"When Death strikes down the innocent and young, for every fragile form from which he lets the panting spirit free, a hundred virtues rise, in shapes of mercy, charity, and love, to walk the world, and bless it. Of every tear that sorrowing mortals shed on such green graves, some good is born, some gentler nature comes. In the Destroyer's steps there spring up bright creations that defy his power, and his dark path becomes a way of light to Heaven."

Such explicit sermonizing is perhaps why some academicians place Dickens on a lower rung of creative genuis (similar to the tongue-in-cheek protest against the sentimentality of Renoir?), and also the reason why movies like "War Room," which we just saw this weekend, probably won't get positive critical reviews from the art critics. But the audience was cheering during "War Room." The public loved it, and Dickens, too, was well loved. Is the moralizing of the secular culture treated so harshly by art critics?

Small victories sometimes feel more like accomplishments than large ones - for instance, I also got hired for a new job!  This may be the fastest turn around I've had in terms of finding employment.  I don't begin until next semester teaching at the Navy College, but I have turned in my new hire packet and met with the advisors.  Next step: hope a class fills so that I actually get to teach. And hope that the Navy doesn't end its relationship with the colleges and universities that offer special degree programs to sailors and dependents.  The cost to the military is minimal compared to other costs - the military provides space and utilities on bases and ships, manpower to process base pass applications for personnel, and some tuition assistance, but on paper it doesn't look like these programs are mission essential.  In reality, they improve the minds and morale of the sailors immensely, adding value to the Navy's forces that can't be calculated.

Perhaps I'll add a little Dickens into the syllabus next term.  But not The Old Curiosity Shop... time to decide if I let it remain on my shelf. Still undecided whether the value of these quotes is worth the shelf space consumed by a book no one else in the family will read, and I will probably never read again. But I am happy to have read it at last and enjoyed the evenings I spent wandering the English countryside with Nell and her grandfather.

http://charlesdickenspage.com/curiosityshop.html

Some favorite Pope moments

Some of my favorite images and words from some of the Pope's recent visit to the United States.  So much joy shared!

"We are celebrating the feast of the family," he told the crowd. "Families have a citizenship that is divine. The identity card that they have is given to them by God so that within the heart of the family truth, goodness and beauty can truly grow."

"Some of you might say of course, Father, you speak like that because you're not married," he said.

"Families have difficulties. Families -- we quarrel, sometimes plates can fly, and children bring headaches. I won't speak about mother-in-laws," he quipped.

"However, in families, there is always light" because of the love of God's son.

"Just as there are problems in families, there is the light of the resurrection," he said.   

"The family is like a factory of hope," he said.

"In the family, there are indeed difficulties" and children bring challenges, too, he said.

"But those difficulties are overcome with love," he said. "Hatred is not capable of dealing (with) or overcoming any difficulty. Division of hearts cannot overcome a difficulty; only love can overcome."

http://www.catholicnews.com/services/englishnews/2015/pope-delights-philly-crowd-with-spontaneous-talk-on-families.cfm

Faith opens a “window” to the presence and working of the Spirit. It shows us that, like happiness, holiness is always tied to little gestures. “Whoever gives you a cup of water in my name will not go unrewarded”, says Jesus (cf. Mk 9:41).

These little gestures are those we learn at home, in the family; they get lost amid all the other things we do, yet they do make each day different. They are the quiet things done by mothers and grandmothers, by fathers and grandfathers, by children. They are little signs of tenderness, affection and compassion. Like the warm supper we look forward to at night, the early lunch awaiting someone who gets up early to go to work. Homely gestures. Like a blessing before we go to bed, or a hug after we return from a hard day’s work. Love is shown by little things, by attention to small daily signs which make us feel at home. Faith grows when it is lived and shaped by love. That is why our families, our homes, are true domestic churches. They are the right place for faith to become life, and life to become faith.

http://www.catholicherald.co.uk/news/2015/09/27/popes-homily-at-world-meeting-of-families-mass-full-text/

There are some things we really need to take care of: the children, and grandparents. Children, whether they are young or older, they are the strength that moves us forward. We place our hope in them.

Grandparents are the living memory of the family. They passed on the faith, they transmitted the faith, to us. To look after grandparents, children, is the expression of love. The people that does not care for its children or grandparents is a people that has not future. Because it doesn’t have the strength or the memory to go forward.

http://www.theguardian.com/world/live/2015/sep/26/pope-francis-visits-philadelphia-us-tour-live

Do you know what the title was of the Pope that ought to be used? Servant of the servants of God. It’s a little different from the stars. Stars are beautiful to look at. I like to look at them in the summer when the sky is clear. But the Pope must be, must be the servant of the servants of God. Yes, in the media this is happening but there’s another truth. How many stars have we seen that go out and fall. It is a fleeting thing. On the other hand, being servant of the servants of God is something that doesn’t pass.

http://www.catholicculture.org/culture/library/view.cfm?recnum=11026

Photos from http://abc7.com/religion/photos-pope-francis-in-the-united-states/998428/ and http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3248871/Heartwarming-moment-Pope-Francis-blesses-17-year-old-girl-wheelchair-suffering-spina-bifida-wants-actress.html

Rainbows welcome Pope Francis: http://abc7.com/religion/rainbows-spotted-throughout-pope-francis-visit-to-us/1008705/

Popishness

I am still reading Dickens, and recently came across a character described as "popish." I know it is a derogatory term, but with Pope Francis arriving in Washington, DC, perhaps at this very minute, I think it is a term that could be reclaimed with some pride. It's a good moment to be a Papist and to be interested in popish things.

Being on the west coast and in want of a Catholic newspaper - or any newspaper at all right now, we are a little removed from the fanfare and controversy surrounding the Pope's visit to America, fresh from a visit to Cuba.  But still I'm excited about it, our DRE is excited, and our priest brought it up at Mass on Sunday. Unfortunately, I am getting most of my news secondhand from my husband and son who read cnn.com and foxnews.com on their phones for their news information. We don't access the most reliable sources. My boys were heatedly discussing their disappointment in the invitation list that President Obama issued to a reception at the White House that Pope Francis will attend, along with thousands of other people. The invite list includes a pro-abortion nun, a gay rights activist, a transgender activist, and other liberal types.  Political conservatives see this as either an act of disrespect to the Church or a trap to get Pope Francis in a position where the media can snap a photo and post a headline about the Church changing its position on marriage or something similar. Liberals, I would guess, are excited to see conservatives get worked up about it and cause divisiveness in the ranks, a real Screwtape moment.

Which was the case in our house last night. The guys railed how our liberal government is trying to undermine the Pope's visit and how the media seems to poised to swoop in and capture the Pope in a moment of hugging a transvestite.

Perfect! He should be caught on film hugging a transvestite. Or hugging the President.  Or hugging a pedophile priest and also a victim of sexual predation. One of the early popular photos of Pope Francis' papacy was the image of him hugging a severely disfigured man. It was an image that called to mind Christ's ministry to the lepers, the outcasts, the suffering.  Now here is an opportunity for the Pope to continue to walk in the footsteps of Christ by dining with tax collectors and sinners. He already socialized with Communists.  He's visiting prisons and homeless shelters and Congress. Obama, through his guest list, is handing Pope Francis the opportunity that Christ encouraged: to share a meal with sinners - a moment of Communion that transcends politics.

Let's pray that instead of causing division and pain, this visit will be a moment of healing and transformation.  I recently came across a link to David Brooks' and Mark Shields' comments on Newshour on the blog Across the Page. The blog post commented on the fact that religion is having a  positive moment in the news lately, in between this visit, the shootings in Charleston, and Jimmy Carter's brain cancer, among other topics.  She quoted Brooks' rhapsodic hope that this will be a moment of spiritual awakening and healing.  But she ended her post by pointing out that the Pope is just a man, and we shouldn't be giving him any undue adulation, which belongs to Christ alone.

And yet, everything the Pope does points to Christ. Christ will be present during the Pope's visit.  Christ will be present in the man through the sacrament of the priesthood. He will be present in the Word that the Pope will proclaim.  And He most powerfully will be present in the crowds that will gather in His name to witness to the ability of grace to change lives, to heal and forgive, to unite enormous crowds in celebration and hope. I wish I could be there as a witness to be moved, also.

In 1993, my generation was profoundly inspired and changed by the visit of Pope John Paul II to Denver. I missed that visit also, but the graces extended far and wide through the movement of the Spirit in those who attended and were called to serve. May the Holy Spirit use this visit also to extend the grace of conversion to those of us far away.

From David Brooks:   
I hope we don’t overpoliticize this visit.

The first thing we’re going to see is our countrymen, thousands, millions of them moved by faith, their eyes looking to heaven, their heart warmed by God’s love. And we’re going to see that in public. And we’re going to see that in tens of millions of people. And that will be a moment of seeing faith in a way we rarely see it in this country in public.

And, secondly, we will see the example of the man. The message is the person. It’s the way he conducts himself. His love for the poor is not out of any self-congratulatory. He — whether you’re Jewish, Muslim, atheist, whatever, he is the embodiment of the Christian virtues that I think we all admire, the — seeing the meekest, seeing the poorest, seeing the lowest, and lifting them up, and seeing the brokenness in people, and then lifting them up with joy.

And so, to me, it will be a theater of spiritual — a spiritual theater more than a political theater. And I suspect tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands of people’s lives will be changed, in the way that politics can never change them, from within. Their lives will be transformed because they will be at this visit. And they will be moved by something they had never felt or only have felt weakly before.

And to me, that’s just a seismic event, whatever happens to our political culture.

HARI SREENIVASAN: David, so what about — how does that translate when that spiritual theater is finished? Does that translate into any sort of policy action or rethinking something that might be in the works in Congress that’s stalled?

DAVID BROOKS: Well, I hope it transforms hearts. And I hope it transforms hearts in the ways Mark just suggested.

The pope is not going to visit the homeless or the prisoners once in his visit. He’s doing it six, seven, eight times in the visit. So, the constant focus will be there on those who are hurting the most. And I think that enlivened attention will carry over into people’s eyes, both in their private lives and their private giving, but also in their public lives.

Mark has said this many times over the years. We have a political culture focused on the middle class. We have lost some of the contact with the poor, some of the contact with the needy, and not only — and not from high to low, and, frankly, some of the compassionate conservatism and some of progressivism has been from high to low, but treating the poor as those closest to God and worthy of respect maybe even more than everybody else.

And that’s an attention that has been absent from our political culture or in short supply, and maybe it will be in slightly bigger supply.

Random notes

I know living in small spaces is trendy right now, but I have to admit that despite the many drawbacks of our new home in terms of being on busy corner and having no yardspace, I am finding many things that I appreciate about living in a bigger house.  When we lived in a small house, my organizing mantra was "like goes with like, everything in its place."  Anything out of place made the entire place look messy.  High usage in the bathrooms meant frequent cleanings. I didn't like to try to navigate the piano/desk corner because of the tight space made smaller by piles because I couldn't reach my filing cabinet, so papers rarely were filed. (Who files papers anymore anyway?) I felt like I was always stuffing things into a space not quite big enough: sheets, towels, food, dishes, clothes . . .

Now that we have a bigger house, I find I do have more to clean, but things don't look messy quite so quickly.  I can use my sewing machine without being a contortionist to get to it. The kids can lay on their floors. We can access things in the garage without excavating. I don't have to stack dishes precariously because we have cabinet space (although most of the cupboards are low and accessible to the toddler destructo.) The space is a blessing that makes some of the other quirks bearable.

Multiple trips up and down the stairs have convinced me we need upstairs sets and downstairs sets of many things, especially cleaning supplies. One set of diaper changing supplies upstairs and one down, one spray and wash upstairs and one down, bathroom cleaners in each of the 3 bathrooms (luxury! But we still have people knocking on doors to get to a toilet).  Multiple trash cans in a large room; multiple sets of bath towels, stored separately from beach/pool towels. Cups in every bathroom. Shoe bins by the front and the back door.  Each day I think of something to make life easier.

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Last week temperatures were in upper 80s/lower 90s. Hot but not unbearable. Nonetheless, the kids were released early from school three days in a row for heat days.  A new concept for me. I can understand snow days - you might die if you try to drive to school on icy roads. I suppose some kid or teacher could die here if they overheated, but I don't know that lives were threatened.  The reasoning behind heat days might be that learning is difficult when made torpid by the temperature.  Most houses and classrooms here lack air conditioning, so they are uncomfortable and not conducive to productivity on a hot day. Kids were thrilled. They may not have been learning about math and science, but they were learning about cultures.

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I am teaching religious ed. again. Trying to move into volunteering slowly, but I am happy to jump in on teaching the faith.  Keeps me thinking about what we need to be talking about at home for catechesis since the older kids are all in public school.  And I really like the Director of Religious Education at the parish.  With all the moving we have done, I have found that the best way to get to feel at home in a new place is to get connected at the parish, and the best way to do that is to offer to do something no one else is stepping up to do.

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I was looking at old photos the other day and felt that nostalgia for the "olden days" when the oldest kids were babies.  I think I was much more intentional back then than I realized.  I remember feeling bored and sometimes purposeless when I was home alone with toddlers, especially when my husband was underway or on watch so often back, gone for days and weeks sometimes.  But I realized this morning when I was at the park with Baby what a gift it is to have the free time to just be present with babies. So often I have my mind on my to-do list, or I just don't have long stretches of day when there isn't anything to do (like right now when Baby is napping and I should be working on other paperwork, cleaning, shopping for a clarinet for the middle schooler...),  This morning was the first time in a long time that I didn't have anything on the calendar (although I missed a officer spouses' club coffee...) and didn't have anything really pressing to do at home, so that I could follow Baby around on the swings and slides without rehearsing the to-do list.  She loves the park located in the center of the village. Other children are always there, providing entertainment and education.  Today she followed a pre-schooler and climbed all the way the ladder on the big kids' jungle gym. Made me nervous.

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Meanwhile her big brother in college also makes me a little nervous. He decided to join the rugby club. A couple evenings ago, one of our friends passed through South Bend and took him out to eat. He reported that our oldest has a sore shoulder from last weekend's game. Ugh. I did give him our insurance information and instructions on how he can go to any ER without first obtaining an authorization and he can get non-emergency medical care simply by calling for authorization, but realizing he needs medical care is the first step.  Other than sore muscles, he seems to be doing well at school.

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More on Baby: She actually slept through the night two nights in a row recently. Just turned seventeen months.  I never really believe people who say their babies sleep through the night when they are less than a year.  I've never had one of those kinds of babies.  Mine only start sleeping through the night when we stop night nursing.  Giving this up has been a challenge, though. She would nurse all night long if I let her, but I'm beginning to worry about her dental health and my mental health if we both don't get more sleep.  So finally, now that we have been here a month, school has started, and we have something of a routine in place, I've decided that she should start to learn how to sleep in her own bed.  Despite initial success of two nights in a row of a solid eight hours of sleep, the past two nights have been a struggle. Last night she said her first sentence: "Stop it, Mommy," when I was trying to rub her back to get her to fall asleep.  Maybe by the time she is two, we might get some sleep around here.

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Some recent reads: Finished Up a Road Slowly by Irene Hunt, one of my old "Young Adult" books that is so much more wholesome than some of the YA books on the shelves at the library. I've taken to previewing most of the books my preteen daughter brings home. I did like Heartbeat by Sharon Creech, the story of a girl who runs for the love of running. Short and simple, but big on zest for living.  Same thing with Hunt's book - a simple story of a girl whose mother dies, so she goes to live with her spinster aunt and alcoholic unwed uncle. She develops a love of storytelling, like so many young heroines in literature, falls in love with the wrong boy, then realizes in time that it is her childhood friend she loves best.  Episodic, evocative of another time and place, romantic but not lurid, it might be dull to today's reader. I'm trying to get my daughter to read it, but right now all three of my middle kids are wrapped up in Rick Riordan novels in anticipation of watching the movies.

I also have been plowing my way through The Old Curiosity Shop by Charles Dickens. I've started and stopped this novel many times. This one and Bleak House I can't seem to finish.  Too much of the dark side of Victorian England? I just can't stand Quilp, and I'm not attached to Little Nell enough to stay connected. However, I am determined to stick with this book to the end. One of my recent resolutions is to try to read some of the old books I have been packing around for years. I have a number of books that I haven't read that may need to find a new home if I don't read them before we move again.

Took a break from Dickens to read The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie by Alan Bradley, which is the book club pick for the library this month, so extra copies were stationed by the checkout. Easy to read mystery set in a old English country house with an 11 yr old girl as the detective. Entertaining, but not as detailed as I would like. Maybe I fell asleep while reading too often and skipped over some sections, but it seemed like some sections could have used more explanation or back story.

Have I mentioned how much I love our library here? It has an outstanding children's section, a beautiful building, a lovely, quiet reading room, and a great, large selection of books for the older crowd. We love toddler story time, and the movie collection is thorough. It does cost 50 cents a week to borrow a DVD, but that charge is much less than Netflix and the offerings are greater. Last week we watched four episodes of Fr. Brown mysteries from the 1970's. I was surprised how much the kids enjoyed them - the filmmaking is rough to say the least. But a good detective story always entertains!

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In other news: We now have pictures on the walls, closets organized, and have had a party.  We also have started the fall sports season with volleyball, football, and flag football underway.  I took the middle kids to a performance of Westside Story at the little local theater, and the second youngest daughter and I did a mini-triathlon and a 5k run.  The middle son and I have planted a backyard container pizza garden and a couple flower pots in the front after I hit up a garage sale and scored some plants and pots. These are all signs of settling in.  I look less and less at the "For Rent" section on Facebook and in the paper, and am finding more and more to be grateful for.  Walking home from taking the second youngest daughter to school, I had one of those moments of not exactly joy but contentedness, as I admired the neighbors' gardens and realized I hadn't been in the car for five days. Perhaps what I love best about our new home is that we can walk everywhere.  I love not driving. I do have to drive to the grocery store soon, though.  And I have an itch to see some more of our new county. I think this weekend we might play tourist in our hometown. There is a lot to see and do around here. Plus I need to drive out to the suburbs to look at a clarinet for sale...

Strolling the Embarcadero by the USS Midway

An earlier trip to the Museum of Man

Exploring the Egyptian exhibit

Pharaoh and his queen

A walking stick from the folk art museum

We thought about getting married here.

Basilica of Our Lady: from the trip to South Bend a month ago

A favorite climbing tree

God smiles on this place

Candles aflame for a good year

One of the many outposts that make this place Catholic and beautiful

Watching ducks

At the playground

Black box theater set for Westside Story

Friday nights

Runner girl

A medalist in her age group

Shopping at IKEA wears everyone out. Good thing they have FREE coffee if you sign up for emails!

Homemade Chia pet/microgreens yum.

Sunset over the library

body surfing

The beaches here are flecked with gold

Nightlights

Storybook house in color

Here are some photos of our new home. Our first house guests visited this weekend and agreed that the house suits us.  What do I infer from that? That we are a unique and colorful? Unusual and surprising? Partial to rodents, amphibians, and flower fairies?

What do you think?

Gargoyle shot from a couple weeks ago - still unpacking

Baby in the pool: Happy as a bug in a rug

Doing homework under the watchful eye of the Gargoyle

The pantry corner with hamsters

Bedazzled spell books and supplies

Entryway

Wait - is that a china cabinet or a door to the basement?

Looking up at the bedrooms and grapevine

Treading water

In order to pass the test to become a lifeguard, my oldest son had to tread water for a certain number of minutes (I can't remember how many) while holding a brick over his head. He was able to do it, but I have thought about it many times since - how well would I do at that skill? I can tread water, but I don't think I could hold a brick above my head and keep my chin out of water all the time.

That's about what this season feels like: I'm treading, treading, treading water, trying not to get too tired or discouraged, and it seems I'm doing okay, and then it turns out I need to hold a brick aloft, and someone keeps piling bricks on top of that one. How can I possibly keep my chin up?

School has started and the demands for multiple forms, various checks, new supplies and meetings have increased.  The kids take turns having meltdowns about having no friends or missing their old friends or having too much work or being frustrated with the online log-in interactive platform (not sure what to call it, but it is the website where they turn in assignments and post questions.  Whatever happened to handing the assignment to the teacher and raising your hand if you had a question? Why do they have to do this online? To save trees? To complicate my life?)  I'd like to say that a week into school, the kids are starting to meet new friends, and some are, but someone is near tears nearly every day - sometimes me.

I'm still getting used to the new house with all its quirks and safety issues. Now that our belongings are in it, our pictures on the wall, our books on the shelves, I feel a little more at peace. Note Bene: Don't use seafoam green excessively in an interior unless you want to contribute to the feeling of drowning.

Still worried about safety, especially since Baby loves the pool, which terrifies me. She even says "Poo" now.  She does seem to know she needs her floaties, and she recognizes where the pool steps are. But she can already motor herself around in the shallow end with no one holding her.  I worry that she thinks she can swim.

She also likes to go for walks and heads down the front walk with bravado and a mini-backpack each morning to walk the siblings (who are willing to walk with Mom) to school.  I decided we should put up a fence along the sidewalk, even though there is a fence around the porch. Double fencing may be a good idea with an exploratory toddler living on the corner of a busy street.

Can I move again? I'm hoarding boxes in the garage.

There are so many cute houses on this island on so many cute streets, and we are not in one.  Which is a very spoiled kid kind of thing to complain about -- envy is a powerful temptation.

There are a few good things about this house:  It is spacious.  It is whimsical.  It gets a good breeze, so we don't notice the lack of A/C except the one day it was 95 degrees. We are a 5 minute walk from a wonderful library, 9 minutes to church, 4 minutes to the middle school and 8 to the high school. The older kids love the pool, too.  I just bought some new plants for the capacious planters in the back that have some sunburnt cuttings of succulents in them.  I'm planning to move the succulents to a more permanent spot with partial shade.  I'm planning... a sign of acceptance.

I have a space for almost all of my books.  Time to get rid of the esoteric philosophy books from college that no one, not even me, ever wants to read. They just look smart on the shelf.  Why yes, I did read Kant and Hegel and Kierkegaard in college! But I couldn't tell you anything about them any more.  I can't even recall Hegel's first name (google search: Georg Wilhelm Friedrich).

My husband asked the other night, after I again made a wistful comment about someone else's cute house, when I was going to get over my disappointment in our choice and move on. But I still can't quite let go of my regret. I am in mourning for the life we had and the life we could have had.  The trip back to the Midwest with my oldest son brought back all kinds of memories of our happy years there. We once lived in a tiny house (900 sq ft) with a medium yard with big trees.  We loved it.  My aunt came to visit and said, "Better small and cute than big and ugly." But now we have big and ugly. And kids in public school. And no garden. I feel like I have compromised all my priorities. How are we ruining our kids?

Our younger kids are going to have a very different growing up experience than our older ones. And I try to have faith that they are going to be okay.  We've had some good conversations lately. For example, our eighth grade daughter seems to understand most of my clothing rules, so that she doesn't usually have to change her outfit every day, although she still tries to wear a couple pair of jean shorts that I feel are too short or too worn out for school.  The 4th grader started Catholic school today - a change from the original plan.  We didn't think we'd have money for tuition, but the school gives military a discount. I considered sending all of the grade school kids, but ended up deciding that the middle schoolers, for various reasons, might fare better in public school. We may change our evaluation at some point, but having one child Catholic school keeps me connected, and from what I've heard, the fourth grade teacher is outstanding, so perhaps she'll inspire a little love of learning our our most reluctant student.

I hope my kids' faith remains strong, or grows stronger, from being tested in public school. I have plans to do catechesis at home and they are signed up for CRE at church.  Sometimes it seems that my desire for them to have faith is stronger than my own faith.  I went to daily Mass this morning and it was a good reminder that I need to nourish my own soul in order to feed theirs, something I know clearly intellectually, but forget to practice.

If I'm going to keep treading water, even if my chin does wobble under the surface sometimes - many times - I'm going to have to strengthen my faith muscles again.  Turn off the internet at night and do some spiritual reading.  Get back in the habit of morning prayers. Recall my many blessings so that I don't dwell on my difficulties.

Another reflection on how life sometimes leads us away from our original vision for family life is on Elizabeth Foss' blog, which has much prettier pictures than mine.  I have to remember to fight internet home envy also...

Her thoughts:
As I've reflected on the-summer-from-hell, I've naturally inclined towards thinking about what's working in my life and the life of my family and what needs to be tweaked. I often feel like my little kids are growing up in an entirely different family than my big kids did. And they are. The hope is that their parents are wiser, more patient, and more mature. And they probably are. They're also more tired, more stressed (yes--I'm sticking with that story: this stage of motherhood is far more stressful for me than having a whole bunch of kids under 13), and going in more directions. One place where I've really felt like my Philosophy of Family has take a hit is family dinners. I've long, long been a proponent of family dinners as the norm every night. But we've seriously fallen short of the mark recently. As I turn over every parenting decision I've ever made in my mind and decide whether I like them or not, I simply cannot find one thing wrong with family dinners. They are all good. They are still super important. And my six-still-at-home deserve them.