This and that

Here we are almost midway through November, and weatherwise it feels like the fall is just starting. But the first quad term of the fall semester is over, and Halloween, long anticipated, is over - and was an anti-climactic evening. We had loads of trick or treaters, but the kids weren't highly motivated this year. Some friends came over for chili and beer and to keep us company handing out candy. That was the five year old's favorite part. She dressed as Minnie Mouse because a friend from church made her a red and white polka dotted dress that reminder her of Minnie. We had to borrow ears. I am still boycotting Disneyland.

More disturbing: I am supposed to be working on this paper for a conference in mid November, and I only have a few pages done.  For a living, I tell students how to write papers, but I'm having trouble getting started myself.

My inability to get words down on the screen for this conference paper was intensified last week when I spent a couple of days thinking I was fired.  It began because I noticed an email about advising for next semester and realized I hadn't received anything from the department chair about teaching in the spring. I immediately jumped to the conclusion that my class was being cut and my contract allowed to expire. I struggle with discerning whether I am an effective teacher - especially in terms of what the university thinks is an effective teacher. My course evaluations are solidly average.  But I felt things were looking up this term. I had a good group of students who were engaged and conversational in class - a huge difference from my second spring term, when I had a large class that was largely tuned out. I did make a pretty big plea at the beginning of this term to keep laptops put away, and I moved to a text that is not available as an etext, so I think that has helped, as has being in a sunny, large classroom, instead of a dark basement classroom, but a big part of the better participation can be attributed to a few students who are genuinely interested.  So although I have clarified a narrative for the course, I have to give credit to the students for making this term more enjoyable.

At any rate, in my despair that at least the course was taking shape and now I was getting let go, I emailed the department chair.  It turns out he was just behind on scheduling for the spring, and I have been offered a class again.  So I spent a lot of emotional energy being upset about a ghost, a false assumption, a leap of the imagination.

Another situation that remains in limbo is the status of my son's leg.  He injured his knee playing football in September. We had to wait 4 weeks for an MRI and another 2 weeks to see the orthopedist. She confirmed his ACL was torn, as is his meniscus, so he needs surgery. This will be our 3rd son with a torn ACL.  The other two tore theirs playing college rugby. I'm not with rough sports. Now we are waiting for a referral to a pediatric orthopedic surgeon. I'll be happy if this surgery takes place before Christmas, but I have my doubts. The torture will be the 9 month recuperation schedule.

A third distraction: college applications. Sigh. It's a painful process. My daughter is a fine writer, but her essays needed some concrete details and/or anecdotes. She revised. I helped cut words.  I am trying to encourage her to apply to some other schools that I like. She doesn't want to follow in the footsteps of her brothers and wants to stay in southern California, but  I fear she is basing her choices of schools mostly on recommendations from friends.  Here I am out of one side of my mouth saying that the college search process is overwrought with drama and on the other, I am creating drama in my own home. . . 

A fourth distraction: upcoming trips. We have a trip to see our kids and the Navy/Notre Dame game coming up right before a big Thanksgiving trip to Indiana to celebrate my parents' 50th anniversary. Lots of planning to do and lots to get done beforehand.

So now back to it. More to come!